Violet looked about seventy, at least whilst submerged. I admit I didn’t see her get into the hot tut. At first I thought maybe she was not a chatterer. It’s a position I understand.
But you can’t always tell. I mean, sometimes you can. There are some ways to give a very clear signal, like looking in the exact opposite direction and never turning round. In those cases, I get it. You’re not looking for conversation. I feel like that sometimes too, even despite my Paul-related transformation.
Violet wasn’t giving strong indications either way. l felt like it was worth offering something friendly and it turned out she was happy to engage. It continues to be both contrary to my natural instincts and for my good to initiate a chat but I’m sticking at it. And in beginning a conversation l usually find an opportunity to see, and therefore challenge my preconceptions and unconscious biases.
When I first came across Violet, I thought she was quite old and had nice hair. At the end of our chat I had learned that she was much older than l had thought and had had a baby when she was very young. She was in fact 88 and had a 70 year old daughter at a time when having a child at that age was either frowned upon, or was the result of a very young marriage. Either way, there was a story there that l didn’t quite dare to ask about. I’d love to hear about it. Maybe one day l will.
Where the ivy climbs 